[Site Home] [Forum Home] [Articles] [File DB] [News Archives]
The Cool Hangout Place -> Create A Story
(View original topic)
| manadren - Mar-11-2004 server time |
| One of the squirrels screams "Dude! What the heck you buy that thing for? You know we've got 50 100" plasmas back at hq!" Red scratches his head, wondering why the heck he did buy that stupid thing. But he's unable to come up with an answer. Another squirrel speaks up. "It must have been some kinda of sublimininal message." |
| brandon - Feb-24-2004 server time |
| The TV then breaks, and the madness stops, until Red buys a huge 60" Plasma screen TV!!!!!!!!! |
| Red Squirrel - Feb-24-2004 server time |
| "Nooo, this madness must stop! Evil clowns, dirty kids throwing nuggets at us, we're all going to die!" says one of the squirrels, spazing out,not realizing he just broke the TV at the same time... |
| brandon - Feb-24-2004 server time |
| Poof!!! He ends up in another intrusive McDonalds ad!!!! |
| Red Squirrel - Feb-24-2004 server time |
| "No, don't press the 4, that's the shortcut key to activate the microwave oven, the door is opened right now... hmm, anyone for some microwaved McDonald's happy meals? Press it!" Branded presses the "4" button, then suddently... |
| brandon - Feb-24-2004 server time |
| Then, brandon just finished beefing up his Super powerful weapon that he judt bought!!! I knew 4 was my lucky number!!!!!!! |
| Red Squirrel - Feb-24-2004 server time |
| Yesterday I did a remote install of windows ME on all of their satelite equipment. They don't know yet, well now they know, but it's too late for them to try to connect to them and fix it, they are already all crashed. Now that I think of it, pressing that red button is too dramatic. We need to override the GE Thermonuclea™ device and go from there. While they are creeping on us, anyone have an idea of something more interesting to do? Let's do a brain storm." |
| sintekk - Feb-24-2004 server time | ||
You confuse me  Back to the story! "Won't we get vaporized along with these clowns too, red?!?" Red replied, "Well, normally we would, but..." |
| brandon - Feb-24-2004 server time |
| Then, Goku disguised as a Squirrel says HI!!!!!!! to Red, and blows up Bitbender, and screams "All your bitbenders are blong to us!!!!!" |
| Red Squirrel - Feb-24-2004 server time |
| "Nooooooo!!!! Quick, I need 10 of you to run downstairs and activate the UUTTSFLE device. " They look at red with a confused face. "Remember? That red button I said never to press? Well go press it and set all orbiting space ships in combat mode, remember the CCD command on the CLI? Well that one, use the No override parameter." The only squirrel understanding what the heck is talking about freaks out and says... |
| manadren - Feb-24-2004 server time |
| It was Ronald McDeth: the nuclear clown!!!! "I think it's time to show the squirrels to my new "play place" so they can "play" with my new ICBM. And by "play" I mean strap them to the darn thing and set the coordinates for the polar ice caps. Yes that's right Red, I'm going to flood the entire world!! Forcing everyone to live in my new McUnderwater-Manufactured-Housing, eat McFish sandwiches, and pay homage to me, the new McEmperor of the enitre McWorld!! Mwhahahahahaha!!!!!" |
| Red Squirrel - Feb-24-2004 server time |
| "Did somebody say McBase?" is the last horroble thing seen on the comercial, then someone horrible apears beside the grimace! |
| brandon - Feb-23-2004 server time |
| Then, the Grimace appears out of nowhere, and forces Red and his Squirrels to watch and intrusive McDonalds ad!!!!! Oh, the agony!!!!! |
| manadren - Feb-23-2004 server time |
| Luckily, he just happened to have a few dozen heat lamps. Under the glow of the lamps, the fries stop moving and simply sit ther for hours. By the fries are able to release themeselves from the glow of the heat lamps, they will too soggy to do much, but the squirrels don't give them a chance! Armed with a giant bag of salt and an industrial sized bottle of ketchup, the squirrels devour their enemies alive! Oh the horror! The unbridled grease-shed! The French Fries eaten, and hunger satiated. The Squirrels head back to HQ to run a google search on The Grimace, and formulate a plan of attack... |
| brandon - Feb-23-2004 server time |
| Then, Red got a salt shaker, and killed the fries to death!!!! |
| sintekk - Feb-23-2004 server time |
| An army of Ninja French Fries armed with Grease Machine guns parachuted into the room! "Drop ze weapons, or ve vill shoot you!" Not wanting to die a greasy death, the squirrels dropped their weapons. Red had to think fast... |
| Red Squirrel - Feb-23-2004 server time |
| "OMG WTF I quit this job!" said one of the squirrels, who instantly shot himself but somehow missed, the others tried to calm him down, and said it would be ok. "Hmm, the grimace usually sticks around a fast food restaurant known as McDeath™. Maybe we can blow it up or something. This building is made out of C4 because it is easy to mold, do you think we need the last floor?" Suddently, everyone freaked, as... |
| sintekk - Feb-23-2004 server time |
| Suddenly, it came to red... "It must be... THE GRIMACE!!!" A collective gasp came from the squirrels. "Whadda we do now?" |
| manadren - Feb-23-2004 server time |
| And then promptly spit it out. "Bleeeech! What the heck, this is rotten!" "Rotten? But we just killed him 5 min ago!" "This can mean only one thing, necromancy!" "Right. I thought these recent attacks were a bit smart for BitBender! He must have been made into a zombie and sent to attack us just a little while ago! So this necromancer must be the one behind the AI unit and everything else, using the BitBender name [and corpse] to hide himself. But who could it be? I was under the impression that the dark arts were all but dead! Who would have both the knowledge and skill to pull off the complicated series of rituals necessary to create a zombie, let alone one that can almost pass for the original person?!" |
| sintekk - Feb-18-2004 server time |
| "These chunks smell funny. Maybe he was diseased or something?" Red, throwing caution into the wind, took a bite anyway... |
| Red Squirrel - Feb-18-2004 server time |
| Being a very fat guy, bitbender is enough to feed a whole army of squirrels. So they eat, before starting, they note a problem... |
| sintekk - Feb-18-2004 server time |
| Red telefragged him with his own translocater. "Well, now that that's over with, what now?" |
| Red Squirrel - Feb-18-2004 server time |
| pressed the undo button on the gun, which emmediatly fixes all of the damage done. To have fun, presses redo and undo a few times to watch the cool explosion. Bitbender laughs evily, stepping closer, cornering red between the walls of his own building, however... |
| sintekk - Feb-18-2004 server time |
| Unfortunately, BitBender had a translocator on him and teleported to some tropical island! Red shrugs, and... |
| manadren - Feb-18-2004 server time |
| "Oh no!" Red Screams sarcasticly as the Squirrels poorly feign fear and start running in the opposite direction. But once they've put enough distance between them and BitBender, Red pulls out the Redeemer. " Didin't he say 'for him I have a small thermonuclear device.'? Well here you go!" Red shoots off a rocket and anxiously awaits the ensuing carnage... |
| Red Squirrel - Feb-18-2004 server time |
| "Mr. Squirrel, suprised to see me?", Bitbender, in a metal suit with lot of cool buttons (most likely a red one that can do damage too!) standing at the door, with a gun of an incredible size, a click is heard, as he realizes his .50 machine gun has no ammo! |
| manadren - Feb-18-2004 server time |
| So one of the squirrels opens up the copy of Julius Caeser, and turns to Act 3 Scene 2, Jumps up on top of a box lying around and begins to read: "If then that friend demand why the Squirrels rose against BitBender, this is my answer: --Not that I loved BitBender less, but that I loved sanity more. Had you rather BitBender were living and die all trace of intelligence, than that BitBender were dead, to live all free men? As BitBender despised me, I smork at him; as he was a moron, I laugh at it; as he was ignorant, I smack him around a bit: but, as he was ambitious, I took that mofo out. There are laughs at his pitiful attempts to harm us; joy for not having to deal with them anymore; relief at his charred carcass; and hours of fun watching the tape of his death over and over again. Who is here so stupid that would mess with us? If any, speak; for him have I few rounds from my Desert Eagle. Who is here so rude that would attack us? If any, speak; for him have a few pounds of C4. Who is here so vile that will sneak a BitBender AI chip into our HQ? If any, speak; for him have a small thermonuclear device. I pause for a reply. " Then from of of no where a man speaks up... |
| Red Squirrel - Feb-17-2004 server time |
| "it`s a good plot, now you guys do scene 2!" |
| manadren - Feb-16-2004 server time |
| The rest of the squirrels, baffled, follow after Red. When they finally catch up to him, the obvious question comes up. "Red, we know that was a bad plot and all, but what the heck was all that stabbing and screaming about?" Having finally calmed down, Red responds... |
| sintekk - Feb-16-2004 server time |
| And before the librarian can respond, Red whips out a spork, stabs the book to death, and runs away screaming... |
| manadren - Feb-16-2004 server time |
| They ask the librarian where they can find a good plot, and she hands red a copy of Shakespeare's Julius Caeser. Red reads a bit. "Et tu Brute? What the heck is this crap!? You want us running around stabbing half-naked men in the groin right outside the bloody senate? What are you? Mad?!" |
| sintekk - Feb-16-2004 server time |
| "This plot doesn't make any sense!" So they all rush to the library to find a better one when... |
| Red Squirrel - Feb-16-2004 server time |
| fixing all the broken toilets in the world. Quickly, they spread in masses for their quest, but there's one problem... |
| manadren - Feb-15-2004 server time |
| Go out to buy some more nuts! This is when Red realizes that they'd just eat them all on the way home, so they buy cement instead. The pillar fixed, the go back to the probelm at hand... |
| Red Squirrel - Feb-15-2004 server time |
| they ate 2348 cans in one night, which caused a stabelization problem on the HQ building, as some of the cans were used to replace one of the cracked center pillars. Quickly, they... |
| manadren - Feb-12-2004 server time |
| So they decide that the pub is just a waste of time, torch the place and head back to HQ. Still baffled by who could've destroyed teh old HQ and planted the fake AI unit, the Squirrels crack open a few cans of Planters, and sit down to do a bit of brainstorming. When suddenly, Red realizes... |
| Red Squirrel - Feb-11-2004 server time |
| the methane is all sprayed on paper, and before the competition begins... |
| L33T B0T - Nov-16-2003 server time | ||
Do you have any idea what I am talking about? Ayuh. methane doesn't smell like a spring breeze but the fuel source is plentiful? Woe! Who are "They?"Who told you that?  |
| manadren - Nov-16-2003 server time |
| ...methane. Sure it doesn't smell like a spring breeze, but the fuel source is plentiful. So they rig up the pub with several of the bombs, and send in the humanoid probe robot, cleverly disguised as a guy from New Jersey, to scope out the place. The squirrels sit and wait in a flower truck around the corner watching the moniters only to find out that the pub is in reality.... |
| Red Squirrel - Nov-15-2003 server time |
| the easiest and most enviromentally friendly way is to stay away from nuclear bombs, which there is two somewhere in the building, so they all build a smaller bomb that is powered by... |
| manadren - Aug-09-2003 server time |
| YMCA - which can mean only one thing... The Village People!! "I knew that Construction Worker was up to no good!!!!" "Huh? What construction worker? Maybe we should look at this again." ...ACLU!!! ... "No that ain't right either, try again" ...SCSI? ... "Keep trying." ...ASCII? ..."Nope." ...IEEE 1394? "Ugh, this isn't working." "Hmm, maybe this will help." One of the squirrels picks up a matchbook from the Sidepocket Pub and Billiard Hall. "Hmm. The old matchbook-left-by-the-villain-from-the-pub-that-just-happens-to-be-his-secret-hideout bit. That's just cliche enough to work!" So Red takes a team to scope out the pub... |
| Red Squirrel - Aug-08-2003 server time |
| "But who is the real enemy? Of course! The bomb, the evil robotic chipmunks, but the question remains, who created these?" They all draw out a plan of where all attacks are coming from, and where any type of suspicious activity is found and they freak out as the lines all over the map spell out... |
| manadren - Aug-08-2003 server time |
| Looking closely the squirrel notices something. Under the lettering identifying it as a BitBender AI unit, is a serial number. Looking it up in a electronics catalog, he realizes that the chip is a common OR gate. "I don't get it. An OR gate is capable of only one of the simplest of binary functions. Who would try to pass this off as a AI unit - even the BitBender AI units aren't that simplistic. Someone must be trying to fool us into thinking BitBender is still around. But who? and why? Perhaps to distract us from seeing the real enemy?" |
| Red Squirrel - Aug-08-2003 server time |
| The start to wonder, and notice on the box that it says "Warning! Contains stupidity, for use by blond squirrels only." They think that's weird because there's no such thing as blond squirrels, but they just never mind and go on their own business, until one of them notices the burt chip sitting on the table... |
| manadren - Aug-08-2003 server time |
| and they hear a sizzle and pop. The bitBender AI unit got fried. Turns out it's construction was so poor, it couldn't even stand normal working temperatures, and squirrels often have a tendency to overclock. But they still need the AI system, and without a Squirrel AI unit, they need some kind of interim solution until they can find one. So Red plugs in an amd opteron and hardcodes an AI script into the ciruitry. Not as good as a Squirrel AI unit, but it will get the job done for the time being. But the question is, who would slip a BitBender AI unit into the system? Heck, who would even manufacture a piece of crap like that? |
| Red Squirrel - Aug-07-2003 server time |
| it is incorperated with a BitBender™ AI unit, they need to find a Squirrel™ AI unit since if they use the BitBender™ it may cause undesired results, but being dare devils, they try it anyway as after an hour of searching they can't find a supplier capable of making such power chips as the Squirrel™. But when they turn it on... |
| manadren - Aug-07-2003 server time |
| Plaster all their cars with Squirrel flag bumper stickers, and then go about their regular business. But to do so, they need a new HQ. This time they decide to go for an underground HQ, complete with 5foot thick steel doors, 12 ft thick concrete walls, and a war room that brings back memories of WarGames, except with much more advanced computer systems and a decisive lack of thermonuclear weapons. There's even a very sophisticated AI computer, but there's a bit of a problem with it... |
| Red Squirrel - Aug-07-2003 server time |
| the HQ collapses. They squirrels are all outside durring this time, and see september 11th all over again, but to their own property! Being patriotic, they decide to... |
| manadren - Jul-13-2003 server time |
| There is no body... but rather an explosive device! All the squirrels escape harm, but they are puzzled by who would do this. True, the squirrels have their share of enemies, but who would be able to infiltrate HQ and would go to such lengths as to set a trap such as that? |
| Red Squirrel - Jul-11-2003 server time |
| They all look up, and there's a drop ceiling tile that is removed, and there is blood. One of them goes up, only to find out that... |
(Showing 50 last posts, newest on top)