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The Hitch Hikers guide to "the mouse" Mouse modding fun By Onykage
Do you have any of these symptoms?
If you suffer from any of these illnesses, then this guide was made specifically for you.
Now, before we can continue lets look at some ideas that are important to know when shopping for a new mouse.
The .com boom brought on some really crazy advertising ideas. One of which is the idea that "If its in print on
a website then its got to be a fact". We will cover that in a second. First we need to look at the mouse itself.
The mouse is a simple creature. There is not much going on in the inside. It's just a bunch of solid
state items. Obviously the mouse just interprets the movements you give it with your hand. So basically
this is just a funky ruler with a magnifying glass for eyes. Where does DPI come in? Well, DPI just
tells you how well the mouse actually sees. This is important to some extent. The average decent quality
mouse has around 750 DPI. This isn't bad at all. It will definitely work well for all around uses. This
does include gaming. DPI is used to determine how well the mouse will perform at a higher rate of movement.
For example, a pen pad is a device used for hand drawing digital art. A cheap pen pad has 600DPI. If you
were to try to sign your name on this pad, you will find that the signature is blocky with places missing, and
awkward straight lines here and there. This is because the pad is having to interpolate the pixel resolution of
the pen as is travels across the pad. Of course if we try this on a much higher quality pad, the signature will
look very much like that signed on a piece of paper using a ball point pen. So how does that affect a mouse? Just
like the pen, the mouse interpolates movement on the mouse surface. So a higher DPI mouse will be more accurate.
Now just to go ahead and get it out in the open so its common knowledge. The internet has become a cons paradise.
Something that's always good to keep tucked away in your head is "just because it's in print, doesn't make it true."
Data manuipulation can be seen on almost any high traffic consumer website. A really good example of this is the
AMD "We're better then intel idea". See whats funny about this example is even devoted
AMD supporters laugh when they see this marketing stratagy a work. Its a simple idea, just to spam your consumers with lots of
bias and half true information, and it becomes fact in the consumers eyes. Ever noticed that AMD bench tests always test AMD's
newest badboy against intel's average consumer chip from a year ago? It's not that intel just quit making chips, its the fact that the newest
badboy from intel is A: hard to find on the market, and B: those on the market are extremely high priced, almost no-one can afford them. So, AMD benchmarks a chip that is a comparable price
to that of the new AMD chip. So you can see this leads to a very convencing speculation that AMD is better and faster then intel.
Another such example of this is the Mac idea from the forums that was so wide spread that Mac sold 1000 units of the mystery item and
never paid the first penny for advertisement. So basically it comes down to.. they donated their money to Mac and expected to recieve
a product created in the mind of a forum member. Both of these are good examples of data manipulation.
The internet is nothing more then a digital newspaper or magazine. Fully customizable for what ever lifestyle you live.
And like any form of journalism, what is the one thing that keeps that journalist writing his articles? It's the
advertising and sponsorships that's what. Oh you knew money had to come into this somewhere. Money influences everything.
So next time you're cruising those reviews and testimonials. Look around on that site for the ads, and see who has the
biggest one on the page. I'll bet dollars to yen that the main ad for that page will be for the company who made the product
in the review. Think about it, they are definitely telling you all the neat technicalities about that product, and that is
because knowledge sells. More then likely, if you are reading this, then you are a geek. This is a good thing, and you
need to make sure you are always doing what geeks do best. Have the upper-hand. Now lets take this idea and move it over into
the input device world. Specifically the mouse.
Good advertising practice tells us that if we take a $5.00 generic, house brand optical mouse, and slap a wild paintjob on it, grind down or totally mutate the outside,
and put it in a really brightly colored box with the words "gamers mouse", on the outside, then we can go ahead and expect to
make a 500 percent profit off our new mouse design. Just because it has the word "gamers" on it and it is really obscure looking,
it automatically means its top quality. We will stop there and I will let you decide if that has any reasonable logic to it at all.
And if you're smart, then you might have just learned a very valuable anti-marketing tool.
When we take all that we know thus far, and apply it to the use of games, where exactly do we find ourselves. We know that
nothing is what it's cracked up to be. We know that Higher DPI improves the accuracy of the input device. We know that you get
what you pay for. So does all of this mean that in order to be good at a game we need the most accurate and expensive mouse on
the market? No it doesn't. If you're trying to better your game, and you think a new mouse just might solve the problem, think
again. The mouse doesn't make the player, the player makes the mouse. Just like, Wilson Basket Balls. If Michael Jordan won an
Olympic medal playing basket ball with a Wilson ball, does that mean the ball won that medal for him, or did he himself win that
medal while using that specific ball. Obviously, it's the player not his equipment. The same rule applies with a mouse in computer
gaming. More then likely, you need to learn how to play the game first. There is no substitute for raw skill. A lot of younger
gamers have a serious problem with a lack of patience. Until you learn patience you will never learn to be good at a game. That
goes for any game. And with a game, there will always be someone who is better then you are at that game. So, learn to lose,
accept it, and realize that the more you get owned in a game, the better you will eventually become. Now if you want give your
game that little edge that causes greatness and rumor, then skip on down to the bottom for some tasty treats I have prepared for
your viewing pleasure.
Now we will get to the more interesting stuff. Lets start with some common symptoms.
- Does the pointer hang up or jitter?
Well if it does, then 90% of the time you have one of 2 types of mice. Either
a Wireless mouse or Ball mouse. Wireless mice are a good idea gone bad. They work
great for a short period, but, after a while you will notice the glitches they have
as they get worse, and that's when they become annoying. Ball mice are a totally different
story. If your still using a Ball mouse, then please, stop hiding in the dark. Don't delay; Act
Now and go get a new mouse. They have a much larger selection of mice now, unlike when you
bought that stone-age piece of hardware you're currently using. If you're just stuck on using
that old dinosaur of a mouse and you think you need to clean it here is how.
- Remove the ball.
- Try using a "bottle brush" to get the dead skin and dirt off the reads. If you don't have a
bottle brush, the diagonal cut end of a cue tip works pretty well also.
- Blow out the mouse cavity. Use some brand of compressed air in a can.
- Snap the ball back inside.
- Clean or change your mouse-pad.
That should remedy most of your problems until you find it in yourself to purchase a new mouse.
Lets look at a "wireless mouse" a tiny bit closer. Do you play games? Do you own a wireless mouse? If both answers are
"yes" then you probably already know that wireless and gaming do not mix. The wireless technology of the period only allows
so many input commands to be transmitted to the receiver at one time. Did you know while gaming you send over 10000 pieces of
information to your computer every second at any given point in the game? The wireless mouse looks good still but, it is very
unlikely to keep up. So the once beautiful idea of a wireless device quickly becomes the more unattractive type of input device
to use. The last thing you want to have happen in a game is to have your cross hair stop in mid movement or jump on you. So, if
you're a gamer, and you want a wireless device, I strongly urge you to rethink your purchase before you click "check out".
- Does the pointer jump periodically from one point on the screen to the other?
This is a common side affect of having a mouse with a misaligned LED. There is no repair for this
problem. Junk the mouse and get a new one. In some cases too much glare on the mouse surface or, in even fewer cases, a smudge
will case this problem. Clean the bottom of your mouse with a cue tip and a alcohol solution made from 1 part alcohol and 2 parts
water. Dry the surface areas with a "lint free cloth". Don't have one? No problem. Woman's panties are a fine place to get a
hold of some polyester. Just get an old pair of panties, or go down to the local store and buy you a pair. Now cutout the butt
of the panties and use that as a lint free cloth. If you want to be smooth about it, you can cut the fabric into a square with
pinking shears and seam the edges so your friends think you have this high dollar special mouse cleaning cloth. Those expensive l
int free cloths you see in any high end sunglass shop will work also. After you have cleaned the mouse eye, if the problem persists
then you know what to do.
- Does your mouse make noise or smell?
This kind of problem is normally found in older ball mice or just a mouse who is begging to be replaced. Performing some simple cleaning steps will remedy these problems.
- Does your mouse just stop working all of the sudden?
Ah, you have a wireless mouse with a low battery. Change the AA or AAA batteries in it. If it has one of the high price nickel
cadmium batteries, the battery may be marked and also need to be replaced if it will not hold a charge.
- Does your mouse drag or is heavy on the mouse surface?
Flip your mouse over. Let's look at the "mouse skates" on the bottom of your mouse. Are they warn, or
even still in existence? Are they dirty or scratched up? You can order a new set of mouse skates at anyone of over a hundred
retail computer suppliers. A lot of the third party mouse skates that are for-sale are in-fact not made of a plastic and are
much slicker on the bottom then the original skates. They are made from pure Teflon. Need a cheap way out. Try covering the
mouse skates with some scotch tape; this is a very temporary fix. Want something just as easy but more durable? Instead of
scotch tape, use heavy packing tape, or some Teflon electric tape. The Teflon is expensive for a roll but well worth the
investment. You can find Teflon electric tape at any whole sale electric supply.
Now, have you ever opened your mouse? Did you know they put weights in some mice? Try taking the weight out and adding some
better mouse skates to a sluggish mouse, and see if you have some better results.
- Does your mouse no longer function at all?
Why ask questions in which you already know the answer to? Need a cheap mouse that will perform just as
good and look better then the expensive ones? Here is a solution. Let's create a high dollar gamers mouse for practically peanuts.
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2 Comments |
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Latest comments (newest first) |
Posted by Onykage on March 03rd 2006 (15:19)
not sure what you mean by "home made mod?"
i'll do another one.. prolly going to do a nice logitec next. =)

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Posted by Triple6_wild on February 02th 2006 (23:43)
damn....
great job on the article onykage
i want better pics of the finished mouse tho ><
basicly can you tell its a home made mod?

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